Hackfall: 23-07-2024

 The Hackfall Evening News

Sports Column - 

by correspondent 

Peregrine Peabody

Cage Fighting Warriors Win Through

 With Wimbledon and the Euros over,  one would have thought that we could all draw a breath and relax  before the onset of the Olympic Games. How wrong one would have been to have had such a thought!

 

No. A much more important event on the sporting calendar awaited us all this week. The 2024 Cage Fighting final, between cage fighters ''The NCV Warriors' and the team everybody loves to hate, 'Bracken and Balsam the Bogeymen, was scheduled to take place on Tuesday. It was a rematch after the previous attempt at the title had to be cut short due to extreme wet weather conditions.

There were no worries about rain this time. Before walking a mile and a half to the stadium the warriors warmed up in their dressing room with a tree removal exercise.

 

 

 

Slasher Randall (left) and the Terrible Two (right) were soon warmed up and ready to fight.

 

 

Once they reached the stadium The Warriors had first to locate their respective cages - not an easy task given the huge audience of Bogeymen supporters surrounding each one.

 

Eventually they were located, but then had to be circumnavigated to find the entrances. The Bogeymen were determined to make life difficult for their opponents.

When The Warriors finally got to the doorways a terrifying sight met their eyes. The cages were bursting with Bogeymen. And, to make matters worse, they had taken a number of young trees hostage and had hidden them within their crowds - simple slashing was not an option!!

 

However, undaunted, The Warriors strode into their respective cages - 2 fighters against many. The audience watched in eager anticipation as the referee held up his hand before blowing on his whistle.  With a short sharp blast the signal went out and The Warriors wasted no time. 

 

 BIFF! BANG! WALLOP! CRUNCH! At first it was carnage and things looked bad for The Warriors. The wild rose hostages did not endear themselves to their rescuers, ripping into The Warriors' clothing and bare skin. The audience lapped that up, chanting 'Submit, submit!!'  

However - with judicious use of loppers to prune the roses, The Warriors started to make headway, slashing or rolling the Bogeymen into bundles and trampling the despicable vegetation into a mulch. The Bogeymen didn't stand a chance despite their every effort to prevent the onslaught. The Warriors laid waste to every stem inside their alloted cages. They even had sufficient energy for a second bout in a different cage. 

They are a truly impressive group of cage fighters and deserve the 2024 trophy, which will be given place of honour on the rafter in their workshop gym.

Low Riggs: 16-07-2024

A day out?

No! Most definitely not. Any NCVs who thought they were in for a day at the seaside, just because they were setting off from the barn in a mini-bus, were to be sorely disappointed. Instead they would have found themselves up at Low Riggs farm for a day of 'Woodland Management'. Basically this was continuing from where they left off  2 weeks previously when they carried out bracken control, and removed tree tubes as necessary, in a young plantation .

 So - did they manage to finish the job? Last time they were struggling with hot conditions. This time it was also uncomfortably warm and muggy.

 

All aboard who's going aboard!!

There's a long (and VERY bumpy) 

drive ahead, so let's get going.

Once seated,

Ken began singing

'Roll out the barrel'.

 

 

Yep - the bracken is still here. 

Let's hope the trees are too.

 

The low hanging fruit at

the top of the slope had been 

sorted last time.

 

This week everyone had

 to venture further downhill. 

As you got lower and lower,

the bracken got higher and higher, 

towering over the NCVs.

Any tree tube here?

There certainly is!

Having found a tube you then

needed to check for a tree.

This one was easy to spot 

(definitely in the minority).

More often than not they were 

just a few inches tall or deceased.

Hurray - Dave has found

a tall, live sapling!!

The coffeetime picture gives 

some indication of the failure 

rate of the trees.

(Many of the tubes have

other tubes inside.)

 

The weather was warm 

so Julia whipped out a hanky

and fashioned herself a sunhat.

Liz, meanwhile, tested everyone on their general

 knowledge using the quiz question 

on the back of her biscuit packet.

"What's the smallest owl

in the world/"

(Answer at the end.)

She then showed how resourceful

she is. Having forgotten her teaspoon

she simply utilised a banana.

By lunchtime the job was complete,

at least as far as we could tell 

without bashing the whole hillside.

Time to head back to the bus

for the long and rattley ride home.

Another resourceful NCV (Amy)

managed to make a number of 

safety goggles cases out of a tea towel.

Well done that woman!!

The answer to the quiz question?

The Elf Owl of course.

(The size of a sparrow - 

found in the USA and Mexico)

(Phootgraph - Wikipedia)