Pateley Pigeon Post 
HEADLINE NEWS!
NIDDERDALE AONB USES CHILD LABOUR.
SOCIAL SERVICES GET INVOLVED.
Our roving reporter A.N.Other just happened to be in the right place at the right time to capture these shocking images on Monday morning. When he questioned the adult who appeared to be in charge of this small band of hard working children (NCV co-ordinator Ms Milner - aged 21 and a bit) she seemed to have no shame in admitting that the Nidderdale AONB was, indeed, using child labourers to complete the clearing of the cut vegetation from Glasshouses verge. He immediately went to the nearest telephone box and contacted social services to alert the authorities.
It is not yet clear what the outcome of this outrageous behaviour will be.
Ms Milner tried to make it look as if she was doing all the work....
...but it was clear that this was not the case.
This particular child was ordered to goose step with gusto
in order to fit the grass into the trailer.
The child was left so exhausted by the experience
Ms Milner had to support her to remain upright.
"I'm glad to be going back to school tomorrow" the child was heard to say.
News round up from other parts of Nidderdale....
Now then - what appears to be the problem?
The NCVs weren't quite sure what to bring with them this week. Did they need a stethoscope? A blood pressure monitor? A thermometer?
The reason for this musing arose when the email went around announcing that they were to have 'Healthy Rivers Training' this week. Now, whilst the equipment listed above may well be handy for a human health check it may be less so when it comes to rivers. So - in the end they just decided to take a packed lunch and a pair of wellies. If a river was involved then wellies were bound to come in useful.
A morning spent with trainer Jackie Smith in the Pateley Bridge Council Chambers classroom soon ensured that they were well up to speed with all the necessary facts, acronyms and sampling techniques to allow them to go forth in the afternoon to practise their newly acquired medical skills on their patient - namely the River Laver at Laverton.
Some highlights from the NCV HRMS (Healthy Rivers Medical School) were reported by the group leader as follows:
Some highlights from the NCV HRMS (Healthy Rivers Medical School) were reported by the group leader as follows:
Ros K. found a piece of grass but was sure it was a Crayfish. Perhaps some further work needed here Ros?
Sally tried to sit in the white sample trays herself. Whether or not this was by accident or design it is not clear but she then made up for her error by catching two eels. Well done Sally!
Ken caught a Bullhead fish. (See bottom left of picture below.)The details of how this was done were not forthcoming. He could have been using a fishing rod, a net or simply tickling the fish's belly but, however he did it - impressive. He won't go hungry on a desert island!
Liz rescued a tiny toad from some large boots - Good work that woman!
Lots of Mayfly nymphs were found by everyone.
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