NEW WINTER SPORT
TAKES THE WORLD BY SURPRISE!
Pateley Pigeon Post sports correspondent
Gilbert Bickerstaff
2026 will forever go down in history as the first year of a new winter Olympic sport - that of tree planting. Although most Olympic events are being held in Italy, on two different sites, it was decided that it would be more appropriate to host the tree planting event in slightly less colder climes - namely North Yorkshire in the UK.
This meant that the 11 strong British team did not have very far to travel. Indeed - they just needed to get themselves to Crimple Farm in Beckwithshaw, so arrived very fresh and well rested, having had numerous rounds of training over the winter months.
Each country was given a field to plant up and the team that planted the most trees by the time the final whistle blew would gain the gold medal.
The highlights of the event in the NCVs' field can be seen below.
Upon arriving at the planting arena
team GB were somewhat taken aback
by the state of the ground.
A slight delay in the arrival of the
trees led Team GB to create
a penguin huddle in order to keep warm
in the cold conditions.
Liz, more at home in weight lifting
events, was happy to transport the
tree tube bundles.
This NCV preferred to carry
fewer tubes at a time....
...whereas Osian put his javelin
throwing skills to use and simply
threw the tubes to where they needed
to be, thus saving much time.
A member of the BBC's film crew
said that the scene reminded
him of the epic blockbuster
'Zombie Apocalypse of the Somme.'
Gradually the athletes started to
look as if they actually stood a chance
of winning a medal.
Vertical tree tubes were rapidly
appearing.
When other teams found out that team GB
were getting Liz's superb Christmas cake
during the rest break it did cause
some bad feeling. However - it came in the
nick of time to revitalise Amy (front left) who
had started to wilt.
After the official rest break,
everyone moved on to a second
area of the field, crossing over
this bridge that had been constructed
to an original Thomas Telford design.
As the final whistle blew and the tree count was undertaken, the world held its breath. The results were finally announced:
The Netherlands were disqualified after 15mins for planting trees upside down.
The majority of teams had refused to even start - siting weather and ground conditions were simply unacceptable.
The bronze award was given to France with just 20 trees planted. They gave up after the first hour, complaining about the state of the field.
The silver medal went to Germany - they managed a slightly more impressive 52 trees but refused to continue beyond the coffee time rest break, complaining that the poor visibility was a health and safety risk.
However - the gold medal was awarded to Team GB, which consisted entirely of expert tree planters recruited from the Nidderdale Conservation Volunteers. They kept on until the final whistle blew and won hands down by planting 300 trees! Amazing!
Well done Team GB! No wonder the landowner has asked if you could return next week to complete the job.
The Olympic committee have decided that this event would never be held in North Yorkshire again.
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