After last week’s advert for the NCVs’ fitness plan went viral on the internet, the BBC approached co-ordinator Liz, asking permission to film a pilot episode for their proposed fly on the wall documentary series – “Wellbeing With Wendy”. Of course, Liz, always keen to promote the work of the NNL, agreed. What follows is a taste of what went on during filming…….
“Wellbeing With Wendy”
Pilot Series
Episode 1 - Mindfulness.
Wendy Witherspoon bounced into the hedge cage, looking every inch the professional wellbeing therapist she was rumoured to be.
“Good morning everyone! I do hope you are all in good health and ready to try out my new mindfulness routine. Just 15 minutes following this practice each day, whilst carrying out your normal daily tasks, will ensure you are imbued with a relaxed and positive attitude to help you deal with the stresses and strains of everyday life. Are we ready?”
The NCVs dutifully nodded and started to follow instructions.
“First – a breathing routine. Take a deep inward breath for a count of 4, hold it, then, perform a deep forward bend while exhaling. Remain in the bent position, with the breath expelled, for a count of 4 and then roll carefully back up.”
Andy H. said he felt dizzy before keeling over and impaling himself on a bamboo cane.
Dave complained of a stabbing headache from being inverted and needed to go and take some time out.
This poor NCV screamed in pain as he bent over and put his back out. He had to be airlifted off, like a human hairpin, to LGI.
Wendy, looking slightly put out with the interruption to her routine, decided to move quickly on to the next stage in helping the NCVs to become mindful.
“Right everyone. I would like you all to tune into your senses. First – tell me 2 things you can see.”
Ken had a look around and, with a grimace, pointed to piles of saplings to be planted. It wasn’t the most positive of sights, given that there were 1000 to do before home time.
Mick gazed at the ground and, reaching for a rake, gloomily told Wendy that all he could see was a very thick layer of grass and rushes to prevent spade penetration.
Wendy swiftly moved on. “OK then - tell me 3 sounds you can hear.”
Ros said that the sound of rifles slaughtering local pheasants, echoing across the valley, made her feel very upset.
Andrew helpfully announced he could hear the sound of Amy banging a cane in with a lump hammer. That is until she cursed loudly, having hit her thumb, and had to go to receive first aid.
Gabby reported that she could hear Dave weeping when his spade hit a gigantic piece of masonry, just where a tree needed planting.
Wendy, getting a little irritated, but not to be put out, asked the group to focus on another sense. “Let’s try smell. 2 things. Anyone?”
Andy C commented that the acrid odour of the cow dung that he had stepped in was turning his stomach.
Liz, planting in close proximity to Andy H., who had been working extremely hard and had built up quite a sweat, complained bitterly of the whiffy aroma emanating from his underarm region.
Wendy – starting to get desperate and hoping for something more positive – squeaked “2 things you can feel!”.
Ros acknowledged that she could feel the wind on her face. Wendy looked hopeful, only to have her hopes dashed when Ros went on to complain that the strong north easterly blast was making her eyes water and her lips chap.
Ken announced he felt unsafe working on the vertical cliff face.
Both these NCVs complained that they were feeling fed up being asked to do pointless things that didn’t make them feel either relaxed or positive.
Wendy, realising she was beaten, abandoned the sense of taste and waltzed off in a huff, her shiny white trainers thick with mud and the pilot programme in tatters.
The NCVs sat down to eat lunch.
“This chocolate brownie tastes good,” said Andy C. "Thanks Liz!"
"So do these shortbread biscuits," said Amy. "Thanks Mick!"
“And the sight of that line of planted saplings just makes your heart sing,” added Andrew.
Everyone relaxed, feeling the warm glow of a job well done, listening to the sound of the birds flying overhead and
smelling the delicious aroma of hot coffee from their flasks. Life on a Tuesday
was good....
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