Tuesday, 15 August 2023

Glasshouses verge: 15-08-2023

NCVS try for a World Scything Record

This week the NCVs were taken completely by surprise when it was announced that, instead of planting wild flowers as expected. Liz had entered them into a bid to break the World scything record. She had booked one of the adjudicators from the Guinness Book of Records (none other than Stan Stopwatch - yes, I know, amazing!!) to join them, at the verge on the Glasshouses to Bewerly road, to oversee proceedings and ensure that the time taken for them to complete the job was measured to the nano-second.


Stan Stopwatch

The aim was to beat the previous World record, set in the Somerset Levels, in 1713, by 14 members of the Jethro Tull society. They had managed an impressive scything time of 4.5 hours to scythe a field identical in size to the Glasshouses verge, but Liz felt that the same number of NCVs could easily smash that time. At 9:30 am the group gathered at the NCV barn to assemble their scythes. There was some consternation within the group that the short notice of the event meant that they hadn't been able to do any training.

 
 "Don't worry," said Liz. 
"All the balsam pulling and bracken bashing 
of late will have developed your arm
 muscles sufficiently. Just give it your best!!"
 
The group set off for the verge, not, it has to be said, with hopes set high.
 

 
 The going didn't look as if it was going 
to be easy, thanks to the height of the 
vegetation and the previous day's rain. 
Hopes fell a bit further.
 
 
When Stan Stopwatch blew his whistle, scything began...
 
...with Tim first into the area at one end...
 
...and Osian cutting a swathe at the other.

 
After the first verse of 'One man went to
 mow' the next in line got started.
 
 
Swish, swish went the scythes.
9 year old, honorary NCV Harry did brilliantly,
 given it was hs first sything experience. 

Scrape, scrape went the rakes.....

"Heave!" cried those with pitch forks.
 
Bit by bit the long vegetation was cut
 and the resulting windrows cleared.into haystacks.

 
Stan Stopwatch blew the whistle at coffee 
time and stopped the clock whilst 
everyone had a well earned rest 
and a team talk from Liz.

 
Mick had thoughtfully provided the 
healthiest of snack bars (thanks Mick!),
so, energy levels restored, the bid to beat 
the record continued. 
 
Some members of the group got side-tracked with clearing
the bridleway of overhanging branches.
 
When he saw this, Stan Stopwatch tutted loudly
and looked at his watch meaningfully.
Was this a wise time to be doing this job?  
 
There was also some seed collection going on. 
"Well really," said Stan S. "This is most unadvisable."
 
Stan tutted even more loudly when he caught 
Tim having a sneaky sit behind a haystack.
"I don't think that you are taking this event 
seriously, young man", he said. 
 
Slowly, but surely, the two teams worked towards
each other...

...and, slowly, but surely, the grass 
was cut down...
 
...and removed.
 
Eventually the teams from
 each end met in the middle and fought over
who would get to cut the final blade of grass.

 
Stan Stopwatch blew a whistle 
and stopped the clock.
Everyone gthered around to hear the result.
 
Stan S. cleared his throat and announced the time.
"4.45 hours!"
The NCVs rejoiced - 0.05 hours less
 than the previous record!!.
 
Stan Stopwatch then gave them a withering glance and reminded them that they had another half of the verge to cut, something that the NCVs had forgotten.
 

The NCVs looked at each other and gazed at the remaining length of verge to be cut."Never mind everyone", Liz cried breezily, " it's all in the trying!! We can finish next time." Stan Stopwatch just shook his head - it was clear that his expectations had not been as high as Liz's from the start. He packed up his stop watch and waved farewell.

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