This week, for the second time in recent years, the NCVs almost made it onto the airwaves. Read on to see the transcript of an interview recorded with BBC researcher Colin Wobbles, this afternoon, for the Today programme. The NCVs were informed that it would probably be broadcast at 6:15am on Wednesday August 17th.
Colin Wobbles (CW): (Jovially) Good afternoon Ms Bashalot. We believe that you and the Nidderdale NCVs have been busy battling against the odds in Hackfall Woods yesterday.
Ms Bashalot (MB): Well - we were certainly working in Hackfall Woods. Not sure if I would call it 'battling against the odds'.
CW: Oh come - you are being modest. Didn't you have to pull up huge quantities of Himalayan balsam?
MB: Erm, there was some balsam, yes. Although we have had a good impact on its spread over the years. The pictures I have supplied for the Today programme's website will provide clear evidence of this.
The patch by the Grewelthorpe Pond
was seen off in just half an hour.
No wonder Tim had a smile on his face!
also sorted within 40mins.
balsam stems and LOTS of brambles!
The area over by the Swinton Estate wall
used to take us all day to work through.
This year - 40mins tops.
CW: OK. But what about all the overhanging vegetation? I bet that was very difficult to get rid of.
MB: Oh no - a bit of a bash with a grass slasher, or a nip with the loppers, and the paths were soon clear....
CW: (Starting to sound irritated) I believe there was a huge tree that had fallen over a path which needed to be dealt with.
MB: A tree had fallen - but it was hardly 'huge'. As listeners will be able to see we soon shifted it. The AONB provide us with all the necessary tools for that kind of a thing. Anything too big had already been dealt with by the Woodland Trust's contractors.
Contactors....
CW: And the culverts?
MB: What about the culverts?
CW: Oh come now Ms Bashalot. You can't deny that there were some hazardously blocked culverts that were threatening to lead to dangerous torrents of water washing away the paths!
MB: (Smiling) I think that someone may have exaggerated the nature of the issue Colin. As you can see for yourself - I don't think that was a likely scenario.
There were a couple of full culverts but, with a bit of skilful
slasher twiddling, Osian had them cleared in no time at all.
CW: (Interrupting) Right well what about those three really dangerous benches that were on the verge of collapse and would badly injure whoever sat on them?
MB: Ahh. Now those were a bit on the wobbly side. We put our best problem solvers onto the case and they soon had them safe and sound - as listeners will be able to see from the pictures on your website....
Special metal bars, inserted and bolted to the
bench legs reduced the wobble factor to zero.
CW: Hmph. Presumably you were having to work in dreadful weather which would have made everyone really miserable?
MB: Err - no - not really. There were thunderstorms forecast but they never materialised and the end of the heat wave yesterday made conditions much more pleasant to work in. In fact, lunchtime at the sandbeds was just perfect.
Eagle eyed Osian spotted a kingfisher - maybe you can see it?
Coffee and lunchtimes were made all the better
thanks to a generous helping of very tasty flapjack.
This had been supplied by NCV David M. who celebrated
a landmark birthday a couple of weeks ago.
Thanks David - Many Happy Returns!!
CW: (Looking increasingly rattled) I'm sure that there was loads of litter that you had to collect?
MB: There was a half bag collected, not too bad at all. And we have our special bag lady, Anita, to deal with that.
In fact she was able to help Osian out at one point.
When he noticed that, somehow, he had come out of the house
without his small intestine, she simply reached into
the litter bag and furnished him with a temporary
solution to the problem.
CW: (Now speaking through gritted teeth) Ms Bashalot - you have contacted the BBC under false pretences. There will be no public interest in your story at all!!
MB: On the contrary Mr Wobbles, I think that there will be a good deal of public interest. A story of hard working volunteers, giving up their time to do their best to improve the natural environment; keeping a local beauty spot safe and looking good for visitors. It's a 'good news' story surely?
CW: Good news story! Sorry Ms Bashalot. We don't really cover those. What we like is a nice bit of doom and gloom. Now, you'll have to excuse me - I need to go and interview the CEO of an energy company and the managing director of Yorkshire Water. I'm sure they will both have something more appropriate for tomorrow's broadcast.
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