With the passing of the summer solstice comes the bashing of the bracken!
Yes - it is that time of year again. The time when the days are longest and you know that the NCVs' tasks most definitely begin with B. No - not balsam. That was last week. This week the workers were back to Old Spring Wood, sticks held high, ready to beat the bracken into submission for yet another year, unless, by some miracle, it had decided to give up after last year's efforts. So - how did they get on? Let's take a peep shall we......
On entering the wood a quick check dispelled any hope
that the bracken had taken the hint that it wasn't wanted.
There was plenty here to keep the NCVs busy for the day.
set off to tackle the lowest part of the wood -
the area where the bluebells grow.
As soon as they reached their destination sounds
of sticks and slashers thwacking bracken rent the air.
There were many occasions when surgical precision was needed to bash only
the pieces of bracken that were growing out of the middle of fern clumps.
"Nurse - scalpel please!"
The NCVs not only took care of the ferns - they also bashed
sensitively around the tree saplings and foxgloves.
Just now and again (not very often) there
would be a clearer bit of ground.
This one is obviously home to a badger - or maybe a fox?
Coffee and lunch were partaken in this lovely area of dappled shade.
Liz kindly provided some tasty treats, a number of which
went sailing through the air when she slipped on a stinkhorn
as she handed them out, becoming the first of five to slide
gracefully to the woodland floor at different points in the day.
No - don't worry. This was not one of the unintended falls.
Julia just decided she would try the 'Roll around on the
ground and crush the bracken' method.
It was actually very effective.
She will have to check herself well for ticks mind!
As did this group.
"Hold the line. Hold the line!
We can defeat the enemy if we just hold the line!"
After a while we noticed that John Lewis was holding a photo shoot for its 2021 catalogue of country wear....
Anita is wearing the latest in bracken bashing costumery.
Note the appliqued motif on the smart top; the soft fabric
which bends so easily at the knee.
Just £400 inc VAT.
Our model Graham is showing the most up to date
items from the "Country Gents" range.
A snip at £350 - stick not included.
Here Liz demonstrates that you can wear our new
range of fascinators anywhere.
No need to wait until Ladies Day at the races.
Just £600 - cheap at half the price.
(NB this headwear will need to be put in a jug of water each
night to retain that forest fresh look.)
Having watched the JL photoshoot the NCVs pressed on with the job as the temperature started to soar.
As Dave A. emerged from an almost bracken free area under the trees
and thought to himself "We must be nearly done now - it's now safe to come out",
he was met with this sight. Uphill, full sun, really thick, tough bracken stems.
Unsurprisingly he let out an exclamation of extreme disappointment.
Paul's response to the sight was to hide inside a nearby den,
hoping that he could stay there until work finished.
Eventually Liz called a halt and the NCVs headed home,
leaving the wood a good deal less heavily bracken covered
than it had been at the start.
Special note to any NCVs who suddenly decide they have other fish to fry next week, rather than have to return to bash something beginning with B:
You will need to supply documentary evidence that you have, indeed, got a good excuse.
e.g. a positive covid test result; a holiday booking email; an architect's plan for a builder's visit; a dental appointment card.
Anyone taking the week off without such evidence will have subsequent pay docked and will only be offered goodies that have fallen on the floor.
😁
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